J.R. Briggs
Attempting to behold the miracle long enough without falling asleep
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Archive for May, 2009
Reflections of Carter + the Kingdom
I’ve been watching our 2.5 year old son Carter with great intent a lot lately. I’ve tried to make an effort to take the time to notice his personality emerging, his opinions forming, his likes and dislikes being communicated with great forcefulness. The way he communicates things to us cracks us up. I am fascinated at how he is moving from being a baby to being a boy right before my eyes.
As a result, I’ve engaged in an exercise that I have found to be beneficial and meaningful. Each time a different part of his personality emerges I pull out a small notebook that I carry around in my pocket (a Moleskine – what else is there?) and write it down. I’m sure most of these words are universal for all children, but nonetheless they have been worth noting with my son.
unashamed of the fact that he is completely dependent upon other people – especially mommy and daddy
inquisitive in conversation – most sentences end in a question mark or an exclamation point
imaginative and full of wonder
playful
creative, especially when it comes to playing and singing new songs
trusting of others
very seldom does he hold to preconceived opinions or judgments
fascinated by the smallest of things found in the world he’s discovering
free from the need to impress others – even mom and dad
seldom is he stressed or anxious – only when he can’t find one of his “rah’s” (i.e. blankies)
longs for affirmation – loves it when he’s hugged
makes his needs known readily, clearly – and often
As I reflected back over this list a few different times, I’ve been reminded of the words of Jesus in Matthew 18: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes a humble place—becoming like this child—is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”
Which begs the challenging question: Do the words above that describe Carter also describe my spiritual life?
doubt :: night: “When you are lost you are not alone.”
On Tuesday night we hosted another doubt :: night at Third & Walnut Bar. About 30 to 40 people came out to air out their doubts about God, life, Jesus, the Bible, Church and/or faith. We pretty much run the spectrum of people: agnostics, Christians, atheists, “spiritual seekers”, those into the New Age movement and those who say they “like Jesus but not the baggage that comes with him.” 50-somethings and college students. Those who are vocal and those that come just to listen.
I love it.
The structure is easy: We pay for appetizers. People are on their own with drinks. And we facilitate a conversation for about 2 hours. I love these nights because they are saturated with incredible honesty, as well as uncertainty and deep longing. There was also pain, and tears and lots of why? I started by drawing the distinction between doubt and unbelief (we often get those mixed up) and mentioned that expressing our doubts takes a lot of courage, but that it can be incredibly helpful to be honest about our doubts as we’re traveling on this spiritual journey. I read a quote from the recently released film Doubt, where Father Flynn (played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman) is preaching his sermon during Mass. He ends the sermon by stating: “Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone.”
My friend Kyle, who was in an accident 18 months ago that left him paralyzed from the chest down, asked the most poignant and courageous question of the evening: Where was God the day of my accident? Kyle told me that this week is the first time that he’s really been able to ask those tough questions of God.
We changed the format just a bit and shaped the evening around five questions:
[1] Describe a time when you were the most riddled with doubt. Why then?
[2] Describe a time when you had little to no doubts. Why then?
[3] If God (if you believe in his existence) never answered your doubts would that change the way you feel about him?
[4] What you do you long to believe in?
[5] What doubts do you have?
How would you answer these questions?
Unlearning Mental Illness in the Church
In the previous post I mentioned that my friend Dave, works bi-vocationally as a social worker and a pastor, has significantly helped me to process the question of how the church is to best serve individuals with mental disabilities. He’s not only helped me process through this theologically and philosophically, but also practically. I’ve seen him model it. I’ve seen Dave on the job. I’ve been in meetings with him where he has patiently and calmly interacted with people with mental illnesses. Because of his unique perspective of working in both fields, I asked him to answer the ever-increasing important question: “How can the Church better serve people with mental illness?”
When we ask ourselves this question we are usually overcome with a sense of our own inadequacy. We often feel this way because even the most learned among us realizes that there is so much we don’t understand about mental illness. Surely, we conclude, the answer must be to learn more about this confusing subject. Isn’t it only logical that if we learn more about schizophrenia we’ll do a much better job caring for someone within our church who has schizophrenia? How can I really help someone with bipolar disorder if I don’t have a clear sense of what it actually is and how to define it? So on we move to reading about mental illness, or better yet, reading long bullet-pointed lists of characteristics describing various diagnoses. That way, we reason, we’ll have a better chance of making the right diagnosis and, in turn, figuring out the best “solution” to the problem…uh, I mean person, standing in front of us.
I certainly do agree that it would be helpful for those of us in the church to increase our knowledge about mental health issues. Having worked in the mental health system for almost 8 years I can attest to the fact that there is always more to learn so that we can better support people who are struggling with managing their mental illness. However, I am concerned that all too often our starting point is to focus on the mental illness itself rather than on the person who has the mental illness. Thus, the first thing I think those of us within the church need to do regarding this area is to understand that people are much more than their mental illness. For instance, though I don’t think of myself as a zealot for political correctness, I do believe there is a difference between referring to someone as a “schizophrenic” and referring to them as a “person with schizophrenia”. The former description comes a little too close to assuming that one title can adequately describe the full gamut of issues in the life of a person with schizophrenia. The latter description, conversely, reminds us that though schizophrenia can indeed play a profound part in the life of a person, there is much more to learn about such people than can ever be discovered through a word, hospital chart or bullet-pointed list of symptoms.
So what do those of us within the church do when we discover that a person either in our believing community or in our broader community has a mental illness? I suggest that we begin answering this question not by throwing ourselves into intense learning about mental illness but by unlearning what we already think we know about mental illness. By unlearning I am not suggesting that we embrace ignorance. (I am, to be clear, a book worm who just bought a book this weekend regarding pastoral care for those with clinical depression). Rather, I’m suggesting that we let go of the ingrained assumption that our ability to help someone with mental illness is directly equated with our level of knowledge about mental illness. If it was true that our ability to help someone was based solely, or even mostly, on our knowledge of their mental illness it would be logical to conclude that psychiatrists and therapists would always be the best at coming alongside such people. While psychiatry and therapy can be extremely helpful resources for people, it never ceases to amaze me how many times I’ve seen people who’ve never been helped by their psychiatrist or therapist make huge strides through a relationship with a person who knows very little about the subject of mental illness. So what did that person do to be such a help?
In my experience, it usually started with helpers treating people with mental illness the way they treated other people in their life. For example, they acknowledged that there was much more that they shared in common with the people they were helping than there was that which separated them. It meant that they listened to them. It meant that they showed respect to them. It meant that they laughed with them. It meant that they watched a basketball game with them. It meant that they treated them like…well, like…people.
If you want to see a good example of these different approaches in action, I suggest you see the movie (or better yet, read the book), The Soloist. Much more could be said about this film but since it’s currently in the theatres and I don’t want to be that guy who always spoils a good movie for everyone I will say no more about it. Nevertheless, there are other examples closer to our own everyday lives that I think make the point. For instance, if a new family is exploring one of our local churches our first impulse may be to invite them to a barbecue with a few other families from the church. Why is it, though, that when a person whom we know has a mental illness is making a similar exploration do we feel the urge to first find out all the things that would typically be found in a social worker’s face sheet before we feel comfortable inviting them to the barbecue?
The theoretical application: people with mental illness, like us, don’t just have biological needs but also have spiritual, social and emotional needs; so treat them as whole people, not just biological disorders.
The practical application: people like barbecues, even people with mental illness, so let’s invite them to barbecues.
This is all, by the way, very good news for the church. The church, as a community of people called to love the world as Jesus loves the world, is uniquely equipped to support people not simply as a name on a caseload, but as a person made in God’s image. Rather than feeling inadequate about our ability to help people with mental illness we should be confident in moving into the lives of such people (many of whom have longed struggled with relational isolation) with the type of loving community that they have never experienced before. So go, buy a book and become a life long learner on this increasingly relevant topic. However, before you do, consider first what you have to unlearn so that you primarily see those with mental illness as people like you and me rather than as patients who need to be diagnosed.
Dave Eckert is a social worker and chaplain at Access Services, a faith based social service organization that serves people with developmental disabilities and mental illness. In addition to his role at Access, Dave is also an associate pastor at Grace Community Church in Chalfont, PA. Dave, his wife Debbie and their two daughters live in Lansdale, PA.
Rhythms to promote good mental health
Over the past several months our faith community has been engaged in several conversations regarding what the Church’s role is with mental illness. Through a friend of mine who is bi-vocational as a pastor and a social worker, we’ve begun an unofficial partnership with ACCESS Services of Montgomery County to learn and serve those with mental retardation and/or mental illness. Movies like A Beautiful Mind, I Am Sam and, most recently, The Soloist, thrust the issues of mental health to the forefront of culture. At least for a little while.
Last week I was driving in the car when I heard an interview on NPR (that’s how I know I’m now officially old) with a psychiatrist who has worked in the mental health field for over forty years. I didn’t catch his name, but I did remember this snippet. The interviewer asked the gentleman what healthy rhythms people should participate in regularly to promote their own mental health and wellness. He said:
- Eat well.
- Exercise often.
- Sleep well.
- Laugh. A lot.
- Do something you love every day – even if its just for a few minutes.
Are these rhythms a part of your regular day/week?
The Kingdom of God is like polarized lenses
Last year on vacation in Florida I was swimming in the ocean when a wave hit me and sent my sunglasses flying. They plopped into the Atlantic, never to be seen again. Not a huge deal regarding price (I bought them for about $8) but I loved those glasses (I bought those glasses when I was in college!) and now the hassle of find the ‘right’ replacement pair.
I found a pair (again, under $10) but I found out something about them after the fact that continues to amaze me: they have polarized lenses. I had heard about sunglasses with polarized lenses (fishermen told me they are great, but never heard or understood why) but didn’t know what that meant. Until I started wearing them on vacation.
It’s true: sunglasses with polarized lenses rock.
Why?
Because you can see new things when you wear them that you can’t see with the naked eye. These sunglasses don’t just protect your eyes from the sun; it also brings new things into my vision. My vision is altered – for the better – to see things I had missed for so long.
The light shimmers differently and highlights new objects I normally never would have noticed.
When I walk on pavement I see the rainbow of colors of oil stains and spots reflecting back clearly.
When I drive I can see the ‘tint’ on windshields (and the thick layer of dust on my dashboard).
When we were near a body of water I could see fish very clearly below the surface that others were unable to see without my glasses (hence, the excitement of the fishermen in said conversations).
I wonder if Jesus were here today if he would tell a modern-day parable that started with: “The kingdom of God is like a man who wore a pair of sunglasses with polarized lenses…”
When we’re intimately connected to the ways of Jesus we see the world differently. We look for the kingdom of God at work, in big but most importantly in subtle ways, and we see it. We see kingdom activity, kingdom promise, kingdom initiative, kingdom opportunity. We begin to see things that were once hidden in plain sight but now are apparent, clear, present. We begin to see things below the surface.
We not only look; we actually begin to see – maybe for the first time. We see the kingdom life in our ordinary days. Sometimes we complain that God is showing up, throw our hands up in the air and say, “Well, if he would just show up in a burning bush!” I wonder if God wants to communicate back, “I am in burning bushes all over the place – they’re there! – you just aren’t seeing them!”
Maybe living in and living out the values of the kingdom means asking God to supply us with some spiritually polarized sunglasses by which to see the world.
John 5:17 says, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.”
Do I see it?
Renew: gathering tomorrow
The Renew Community has our next gathering tomorrow morning. If you’re interested in checking it out, we’d love to have you join us.
If you can’t make it tomorrow, we have another doubt :: night on Tuesday at 7:30 pm at Third and Walnut Bar and Grille.
My brother and sister-in-law are THIS close…
If you’ve been following my blog you know that my brother Alan and his wife Julie are in the process of adopting two orphans (siblings) from Africa. Here’s a picture of Julie on a mission trip to Africa working with orphans.
They’re excited to adopt. We’re so excited for them to be parents, for us to be have nieces/nephews and for Carter to have cousins. And they are so close. But there’s only one thing holding them up.
Prayerwalking V
[Q]: Who should I prayerwalk with?
1. Praying by yourself is good.
2. Praying with others is beneficial, too.
3. Getting your small group or house church or friends together is great to try.
4. Teaching a new believer or someone who has never been on a prayerwalk is a meaningful experience.
5. Praying with – and for – other churches in your region is another beautiful picture of the body at work. We did this about a month ago on a Saturday morning and had four different churches represented. We met new people and were reminded that we’re linking arms with other churches under the banner of Jesus, not just our particular denomination or church. We prayed for other churches, other churched prayed for Renew. Others mentioned that they would like to invite more people from other churches. It takes little planning (pick a place a time) and invites are easy, but the only reason is that is works is that the agenda is just one thing: pray. If you add more things to the agenda it can get a bit awkward. Don’t send our fliers or put ads in the paper – just invite via word of mouth. Then just show up, break up into smaller groups (maybe 2-5 people), walk different directions and pray. Then come back together at predetermined time and then talk about what you prayed for.
If you’d like to come with me and participate in a prayerwalk let me know. Contact me via email [under the About page to the left] and let’s pray for our communities and neighborhoods together.
Prayerwalking IV
[Q]: Do you ever do anything creative as you prayerwalk?
Yes, there are four different things I have done that have been beneficial.
1. Sometimes (though not often) I put on my iPod and listen to worship music. My favorite song I like to listen to as I prayerwalk is the hope-filled song “God of the City” (read the lyrics here or watch/listen to this video). The lyrics of the song become the words of my prayers. It’s great to pray – and sing – this over your city.
2. Sometimes (though not often) I get a prompting from the Holy Spirit to approach specific people I am near or passing as I walk. It can be a bit scary, to be honest. But it is also fulfilling. I simply say: “Hi. I’m on a prayerwalk and I’m praying for anything that someone or something may need prayer for. Is there anything that I could be praying about for you?? All but one time the response has been great. Regardless of their background, they seldom turn down the opportunity to share. Many people – even those with no religious background – tell me that they are grateful I asked them. A few times I’ve asked if I could stop and pray for them right then and there, if they have a moment to spare. Everyone I have asked as agreed – and thanked me.
3. Sometimes (though not often) I utilize the Prayer Labyrinth at a local park (Stony Creek Park in Lansdale has a fantatic one). While labyrinths have been used for new age (and other belief systems apart from Christianity, it can be a very redemptive process for Christ followers. Click here to read what a prayer labyrinth is.
4. Sometimes (though not often) I will bring along a trash bag and will pick up trash along the streets as I pray. It’s simple and it costs you one trash bag. I got this idea from Steve Sjogren’s fantastic book The Conspiracy of Kindness (buy this book!) in what he calls “servant evangelism.” I guess instead of prayerwalking this is called prayercleaning.
When I get my hands dirty and bend down and pick up objects that turn my stomach its a great reminder and challenge that as a follower of Jesus I am here to serve and there is nothing that should be below me and my willingness to serve. It confronts my pride and reminds me that I am here to serve. It also provides a heightened sensitivity to your surroundings; you pay attention to the streets more.
But the biggest reason is that it makes the neighbors and storekeepers curious. You don’t do it for recognition, but its so rare that people are shocked and want to know what the heck is going on. On several occasions I’ve had people come out of their houses or owners come out of their stories and say, “Why are you doing this?” or “I’ve been noticing what you are doing for the past few minutes. Do you live on this street?” My favorite question I get quite regularly is “Are you being forced to community service?”) I tell them that I’m a part of a faith community that is trying to serve to see Lansdale renewed and I’m doing two things to help with that: clean up the street and pray for our city. People are floored. Most of the time people thank me for cleaning their street. Many ask about our church and what the name of it is, sometimes asking if I have a business card I could give them. One time a guy went back into his house, got a trash bag and joined me for a bit! Serving is a great way to spark curiosity, especially when its in their neighborhood. And sometimes I end up praying for them – either after the fact or right there on their sidewalk. (If you choose to try this I highly recommend using gloves.)
Prayerwalking III
[Q]: How often – and how long – should I prayerwalk?
As often and as long (or short) as you want!
Personally, I’ve found it to be helpful if I prayerwalk at least one time a week by myself and one time a week with someone else. I’ve also found that it’s beneficial to prayerwalk for 45 minutes to an hour. It allows you to walk several blocks/a few miles and learn and observe more about your city.
Sometimes I walk similar routes I’ve been on many times before; sometimes I walk routes that are new streets I’ve never been on. Both are important. A couple of months ago I met with the police Sargeant (don’t worry…it was all good) and asked him what the worst streets/blocks were in our community. I find that I frequent those streets the most and ask God to do some mighty and evident things – to bring peace – to those neighborhoods. My desire is to hear in the future that there has been little to no police activity in recent months.
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