J.R. Briggs
Attempting to behold the miracle long enough without falling asleep
Is your church developmental?
Church leaders: here’s a great post by Dr. Bill Donahue that’s worth pondering on creating an environmental approach in your church. Check it out.
Dunbar’s Missional Journal
Dr. Dave Dunbar, president of Biblical Seminary, just published another edition of the Missional Journal that’s worth your time.
Also, check out the video on the seminary homepage on the left-hand side called Why I Chose Biblical. It’s got a few of my friends in it.
Speaking of Biblical Seminary, if all goes as planned, I’ll complete my degree (MA in Missional Theology) and graduate this spring. It’s been a good experience thus far. I hope I can finish well.
12 Tips for Giving a Great Best Man Toast
As a pastor I’ve officiated a handful of weddings – which also means I’ve sat through some pretty uncomfortable and “interesting” best man toasts…
In my experience, these toasts are all over the board. Some have been pleasant. Meaningful. Generic. Nervous. Heart-warming. Emotional. Hilarious. But unfortunately the ones I remember the most are the ones that were extremely awkward…
The past several weddings, as I’ve listened to the best man offer up the toast, I’ve thought to myself, I need to offer up some tips for these gentlemen. And so, this is the summer to finally sit down and write out a few.
For whatever reason, in almost every single wedding reception I’ve attended, the Maid/Matron of Honor has delivered a meaningful and articulate toast to the new couple (well done, ladies!) It seems, however, that the gentlemen are in need of a few pointers. If you’re ever asked to be a best man – and assume the role of giving the best man speech at the reception – please keep these in mind:
[1] Be prepared. Make sure you practice ahead of time in front of a mirror. Something as significant as this should be thoughtful and should not be done spur of the moment. Use notes or index cards if you want/need to (but don’t read from them word for word).
[2] Be succinct and brief. When people are nervous and someone hands them a microphone this is a perfect storm of longwinded-ness. Best Man Speeches should last no longer than four minutes. Be clear. Be brief. Be gone. Nobody leaves a wedding and says, “You know, I wish the best man would have kept talking during the toast. I could have heard that guy speak all night!” That’s why tip #1 is so important.
[3] Avoid cliches. Say something unique and impactful. While lines like, “You all will be the best couple ever…” or “You found the best woman in the whole world” may be absolutely true, say it differently and in a way that is cliche-free. It will have greater meaning and stick with the audience, especially the bride and groom.
[4] Don’t drink before you speak. It may seem obvious, but its apparently not the case for some guys. There is nothing worse than a toast where the best man has had too much to drink before he is handed the mic. You will not only embarrass the new couple (and others in the room) but also yourself. (Plus, the toast is usually in the beginning of the reception. Who is foolish enough to drink too much that quickly?)
[5] Tell stories... Pick a story (at most, two) that will give the audience a snapshot of your friendship and what you appreciate most about the couple. Specific stories are a great time to highly traits and characteristics that are significant and meaningful. Plus, people love hearing – and ultimately remember – stories.
[6] …but don’t tell stories that will embarrass and/or humiliate the couple. Don’t tell stories about the times you used to steal stuff together from the convenience store when you were in middle school – and don’t even think about mentioning anything about former girlfriends.
Totally. Off. Limits.
Here are two simple rules: One, don’t say anything that would make the couple’s grandmothers feel uncomfortable. And, two, if in doubt, don’t say it. Those two right there will keep you out of a lot of trouble in the first place. This is a day to honor the bride and groom, not humiliate them. Honor them on their day and use a little wisdom and discretion.
[7] Be specific. When you speak about the couple, be specific about what they mean to you. (Refer to tip #3). The more specific, the more meaningful – and the more likely people will remember it.
[8] Bless and honor the couple. Bring out their best qualities. It’s one of the only spaces (and maybe the last time before one’s funeral) where a roomful of friends and family are present to hear qualities of deep importance shared about their life. Bless them in that sacred moment.
[9] Remember: its not about you. I’m amazed at how this seemingly obvious truth is disregarded. You may be the best man, but today is not your day. Don’t go on and on about you. Focus on the couple – and direct the attention of others on the couple. It’s their big day, not yours.
[10] Use humor – but be wise. Humor can lighten the mood and can be done very well – but it is risky. When using humor, avoid the crass stuff. And don’t be cheesy.
[11] End well: Finish by saying “Congratulations” to the new couple – and drink to your own toast. It’s amazing how many people forget this.
[12] Get feedback: Have someone you trust listen to the speech and/or read your speech ahead of time in order to have them provide helpful feedback. Another set of ears hearing what you are going to say a day or two before the wedding can save a lot of embarrassment and can help to hone your speech into something more compelling, clear and meaningful.
Any other tips you’d want to share for Best Man Speeches? I’ve love to hear them.
MQuest Training
Lance Ford and the good people at Shapevine are putting together a phenomenal and outside-the-box training module for missional leaders called MQuest. Instead of you flying to a conference somewhere else in the country, the faculty and training module comes to you (currently hosted in six cities: Los Angeles, Kansas City, Dallas, Philadelphia, Nashville and Chicago). The faculty includes Alan Hirsch, Neil Cole, Dan Kimball and Michael Frost – a great lineup! Each cohort is capped at 30 people and interacts with the trainer for 90 days – and the cost is only $279.
If you live in the Philadelphia region here are the dates for the MQuest.
September 20 / 21: Dan Kimball
December 6 / 7: Neil Cole
February 23 / 24: Alan Hirsch
I’ve been asked to host/facilitate those days with the faculty so I hope to see you there and learn with you. If you’re interested in knowing more, check out this video and register on the Shapevine website here.
Thoughts on thinking well
In college I heard a thought-provoking quote: “Don’t just do something. Sit there!” It prompted me to think through the question: what does it mean to live a thoughtful, intentional life?
I’ve asked people – and read about – different ways they think well. Here are a few nuggets I’ve collected:
- The poem William Blake said, “Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Read in the evening. Sleep at night.” It’s a great quote, but is it realistic? Or is it only entirely for one particular class of people?
- Track your morning habits. Notice what and when you do things. It may reveal patterns of efficiency or times of your greatest creativity.
- Don’t open email until at least 10:30am Email can dictate one’s day (or life). I like this one a lot…I’m just not good about doing it!
- Read everyday. Schedule time – both quantity and quality – to read diversely in order to stretch your mind. Good readers are good thinkers, so the saying goes.
- Work out. It clears your head. Physically, mentally, physiologically and spiritually this has incredible benefits to thinking. Mental health experts say that you cannot over-emphasize this point.
- Journal
- Schedule time to think. Rick Warren tweets that he actually writes into his calendar to block out time just to think. He encourages leaders to do the same. How can you lead well if you haven’t put intentional thought to how you lead?
- Put the big rocks in the bucket first. Steven Covey’s principle puts the most important tasks at the top of the list to get done first – and then work your way down from there.
- Know your peak performance times. Think in terms of energy management before time management. When do you have the most energy? When are you most alert? Adjust your schedule accordingly.
What else would you add to the list that would help you think well?
Three generations of thinking
I was sitting down over coffee with a college student a few weeks ago. He was describing his desire to “follow his heart” and enjoy life, even if it meant not making a lot of money. It got me thinking about the different thought processes of the last three generations.
- In my grandparents generation the main question in America was: “What can I do to serve my country?” prompted by the famous quote by JFK. Tom Brokaw’s book title declares that this was the greatest generation. This had/has some incredible benefits: a generation marked by sacrifice, loyalty and a mindset of serving beyond ourselves. But what can come as a result, especially among Christians, is is a misplaced priority of country above the kingdom of God.
- In my parents generation the main question was: “How do I make a living and provide for my family?” prompted by the end of World War II and the economic boom in the U.S. What resulted was just that: a booming economy spawning hard-working, entrepreneurial go-getters who made things happen. But the damaging effects were greed, an unbalanced life, an unhealthy drive for more and a generation of children deeply affected by having anything they wanted – except the time and attention of their parents, the very thing they want(ed) most.
- In the current generation the main question is: “How can I have significant experiences that make my life worthwhile?” prompted by a strong response to what many experienced in their own families. McMansions are everywhere, but so are the feelings of isolation, loneliness and a bland and sanitary understanding of life. What resulted was a conviction that money isn’t all its cracked up to be. But what can happen is that Experience can become an idol (just like loyalty to country or money in previous generations).
Many fresh college graduates today want to travel the world or bomb around in a beat up Jeep and camp around the country for who knows how long. And that’s not all bad…
But my grandparents’ generation asks what happens if your country needs you to enlist in order to defend our freedom? Is the proper response: “Well, that’s not a cool experience for me so no thanks”? My parents’ generation thinks the Experience Mentality is short-sighted and wonders (quite sensibly in some senses) how their children will provide for their families. “What happens if an entire generation just followed their heart,” they ask. “Have you thought through how you will provide for your family in the future?”
Each generation has a noble question that drives them.
Each generation makes beneficial contributions to society.
And each generation must live with unhealthy consequences of the driving question of their day.
I don’t think any of these questions on the surface are inherently evil – but taken too far they become idols.
What do you think?
Which response is most appropriate for our time?
How do we ensure that noble questions aren’t taken too far and ultimately become idols?
Do you agree or disagree with the generational mindsets above?
Paintings That’ll Preach
Caravaggio’s Doubting Thomas
Reflections on Exodus: Part I
I’m rediscovering the dramatic narrative of Exodus lately. I’m taking off the rosy Sunday school glasses that I’ve worn for so long and trying to grasp the nature of this story for what it really is.There are elements in the Exodus Drama that are horribly tragic.
And beautiful redemptive.
Yet somehow God is still completely in control of the Story of the World.
Here are a few random reflections from my journal as I’ve been reading the first few chapters:
- Shiphrah and Puah inspire me (Ex 1:15-22). There is an entire sermon to be preached around these two women. But they were deceitful and lied to Pharaoh – and yet they were praised for their actions. This leaves me unsettled…
- The burning bush is a dramatic story we know and love (Ex 3). But I forget the reason that Moses was in the wilderness in the first place. He was forced out. He was on the run – for murder. Moses is a fugitive. The most powerful man in Egypt wanted Moses killed because Moses murdered an Egyptian. God showed up to a fugitive and dramatically altered the trajectory of his life. Who said God can’t use screws up like you and me?
- God sees and hears. He is concerned and He remembers (Ex 2-3). This gives me great comfort and encourages me to pray with confidence.
- After the Israelites were taken out of slavery in Egypt and entered the Promised Land they were commanded by God to construct the Tabernacle in the wilderness. During the Tabernacle construction, God commands them to use gold and silver. But where did Hebrew slaves get gold and silver? I’m shocked to find the answer: They got their gold and silver in Egypt. From the Egyptians. By plundering them. And God told them all of this would happen. (Ex 3:21-22). Fascinating: the tabernacle – God’s dwelling place – is constructed with material that used to belong to their oppressors. What an image that must be to worship God and see that gold and silver: a reminder that God is still in control of His people and can be trusted…
I’m excited to continue to explore the beautiful story of the Exodus. Maybe I’ll share more reflections in the future.
Switchfoot & John Perkins
Have you seen this new Switchfoot video called “The Sound”?
It’s inspired by the life and work of the venerable John M. Perkins.
What I’m currently reading
We’re spending the week in Michigan for a little R & R. I brought an arm full of books to delve into:Hints of Child Training (H. Clay Trumbull): a friend gave me this book written over 100 years ago telling me it was worth its weight in gold. So far, it certainly is.
The Elements of Style (William Strunk and E.B. White): a classic. Fantastic reminder of great writing rules.
What Are People For? (Wendell Berry): Eugene Peterson calls Wendell Berry one of the wisest people he’s read. From the essays I’ve read, I can see what he’s talking about.
The Prophet (Kahlil Gibran): A classic. A great collection of poems.
The Idiot (Dostoevksy): Yes, you read that right. I’m reading fiction! (Well, at least I’ll try…)
A Long Obedience in the Same Direction (Eugene Peterson): a great book to re-read.
101 Famous Poems: famous poems I’ve heard of, but never actually read.
July’s issue of Fast Company
This week’s Newsweek
Are there any other books that you’d recommend I read?
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