J.R. Briggs

Pastors and Stress: Clergy self-care

January 27, 2010

Last week I attended our area’s ministerium lunch and meeting. The topic of discussion was on clergy self-care. It was a fascinating and poignant discussion – one that I wish we could have talked about for much longer than the time allowed. It was hard to hear of the stories of deep stress, depression and health issues that other pastors/ministers had experienced, met with nods that communicated, “Yup, I can relate to that.”

The presentation was simple, but was well worth hearing again. As ministers we have a hard time creating healthy boundaries. For many years medical professionals have been stating that the amount of stress – and the severity of it – is at an unhealthy level for pastors.

The presenter listed 10 symptoms of caregiver stress:

1. denial
2. anger
3. social withdrawal
4. anxiety
5. depression
6. exhaustion
7. sleeplessness
8. irritability
9. lack of concentration
10. health problems

She also mentioned three important yet foundational principles:

• The importance of setting healthy personal boundaries.
• Being aware of our own emotional habits.
• Proactively developing a healthy support system.

I mentioned that expectations play a huge role in our stress. The expectations others place upon us (and some times that we place upon ourselves!) to be someone we cannot weighs heavily. But the saddest part is that at times so many pastors – me included – succumb to the temptation and uselessly strive to do whatever we can to live up to those expectations. As pastors and leaders we have to realize that it is our job to intentionally and wisely choose whom we will disappoint. We have to have the courage to disappointment people regarding our boundaries without feeling apologetic.

I was also struck by how important it is that pastors practice Sabbath regularly, purposefully, faithfully and religiously – no pun intended. Sabbath is very different than a day off, though few see it that way. I wish we had spent some time talking about sabbath, but it never came up.

I’d recommend two books in this area that have helped me tremendously – and I highly recommend: (1) Margins (Dr. Richard Swenson) and (2) The Emotionally Healthy Church (Peter Scazzaro)

But the most refreshing promise comes from Matthew 11 in the Message:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company withme and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Pastors: we should be modeling lives of grace-filled dependence upon Jesus. Is your life marked by the unforced rhythms of grace?

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