Over the last few years I’ve noticed something about the first two weeks of January: I dread going to the gym.
It’s not because I am unmotivated to get there or that I am trying to lose a few pounds. No, going to the gym is a normal part of my routine. I dread going because the gym is always packed and crowded for these two weeks and it takes me forever do my workouts. Other regulars at the gym joke that they can’t wait until people’s resolutions are broken by mid-January so they can use the workout equipment again without a wait time. Maybe that is selfish or cynical of me to think this way. Truthfully, I applaud the effort on these well-meaning people with their resolutions. It’s just that they rarely ever stick. It always strikes me as a little funny and a little more than awkward.
Several years ago I resolved to never set New Year’s resolutions again. I’m growing more and more convinced that resolutions are made to be broken. Goals, however, are made to be accomplished.
Most Americans know the track record for New Year’s resolutions. (I recently read a survey showing that most Americans can’t remember their New Year’s Resolutions by March 1, so we shouldn’t be too surprised that we fail at them).
Oftentimes, we set ourselves up to fail with resolutions.
I want to lose weight.
I want to go to the gym.
I want to find a special someone.
I want to travel.
I want to be closer to God and have more faith.
No doubt, these are good and admirable, but how will you measure them? How will you break that down in accomplishable pieces? How will I know what you meant by ‘go to the gym’? (Do you mean go 2 times in the month of January and never again the remaining 11 months or do you mean three times a week consistently for the entire year?) We fail because we have no plan.
A few years ago I heard this great nugget of wisdom: if you are going to set goals, make them SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely). SMART goals have accountability to them. Did you accomplish your goals? If they are SMART, the answer is either a simple yes or no. I try to make my goals SMART ones.
In addition, I email them to a few close friends and give them permission to ask me about them during the year. It is a grace-filled form of accountability that I need along the way. Sometimes the goals change, but most of the time they remain in tact. Some are silly and trivial. Some have massive implications on my spiritual, emotional or relational life. Some are challenges for the particular year. Others are habits I am trying to establish in order to remain with me for the rest of my life. Some are small tweaks. Other goals are massive lifestyle overhauls. It’s fun. And demanding. And it can be draining. But I find the discipline to be important and the tasks to be thrilling. It keeps life from being dull.
I get quite reflective and contemplative around January. In Greek mythology, Janus was a god with two faces – one facing forward and once facing backwards. It’s where we get our word January. Last night I sat down and spent time reflecting on 2012 and considering 2013. Each year’s end, I spend considerable time reviewing my goals for the year, which I type out and tape on the inside of my Moleskine journal. With some of my goals, I do well. I’m grateful and excited to see most of them accomplished. Other goals, however, I fail miserably. I process why I succeed at some and fail at others.
I’m both excited and nervous about the goals for this year, knowing that I will be pushed and discipline will be required from me if I have any shot of achieving them.
Last year I heard two questions that a pastor-friend of mine asks himself at the end of each year:
Great, great questions. These questions help me to solidify my goals. Let me encourage you: set goals this year, not resolutions. You might surprise yourself this year. I’ll be writing more thoughts on New Years Goals in the next few days. Stay tuned.
Oh, one final thought. I heard a great piece of practical wisdom a while ago, poignant especially for this first week of January when resolutions, goals, dreams, to-do lists, tasks and expectations have a tendency to be sky high:
Don’t try to boil the ocean. Just get a few things done by Friday.
Shanna said...
1Great post! I have never succeeded at a resolution. But I have often benefitted when I allowed God to have reign and transform my soul. From there change was inevitable. God is gracious and wonderful in this process he is leading me on. Thank you for the encouragement. Well spoken!
01/2/13 11:17 AM | Comment Link
Andrew Arndt said...
2Nice post. I was going to resolve to try to develop my friendship with you a bit more, but in light of your words, I think I’m going to set a goal to connect with you at least one time within the next calendar year. Would you hold me accountable?
Peace bro. Praying grace and light over your 2013.
Andrew
01/2/13 12:27 PM | Comment Link
Tim said...
3Sound thinking as always. I took a different approach in my post as I’m not real clear on the actual difference between goals and resolutions but I’m tracking with you, especially with the setting something measurable part.
I used the example of job-searching back in 2011 as determining whether we were staying at our church in Jersey or not and as what needed resolving. And if we weren’t staying, what was our plan moving forward? Maybe it wasn’t as cut and dry as that but you get the idea.
On a side note, it’s at your Epic Fail conference that I had a conversation with someone that led to another with someone else that really helped my search (I probably should have mentioned that to you).
Anyway, hoping the Briggs have a great 2013.
01/2/13 3:47 PM | Comment Link
J.R. Briggs said...
4Shanna: thanks. More thoughts to come in the next few days on this topic.
Andrew: might we set a goal for the next few weeks to actually accomplish connecting? Let’s make that goal SMART
Tim: the biggest difference I see between resolutions and goals are (a) intention and desire to see it accomplished (b) purposeful deliberation and thought put into make it and (c) making it clear, objective and SMART. I lot of these principles are what I use when I coach leaders. And great to hear about significant conversations from Epic Fail shaping you and your calling. Very encouraging.
01/2/13 4:44 PM | Comment Link
Debra said...
5Personally, I’ve never understood the whole annual goal thing. I’m lucky to accomplish daily goals that I set for myself, mostly things that need getting done, listed on a piece of paper as I think of them; crossed out as I finish them. Self-improvement and all that stuff? I would contend it comes with daily life, as a by-product of accomplishing the things that need doing. This became startlingly clear as I’ve walked through the last 19 years with a husband who was given a second chance – a double lung transplant. Believe me, a situation like that will force you to set goals, to accomplish them, and then to be able to look back and see the progress that’s been made and have hope for the years yet to come.
01/4/13 7:36 PM | Comment Link